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[personal profile] mmariep2
Got into a pretty bad fight with my mother this evening.

Went to work this morning and mom calls me complaining that she and the sister can't figure out how to close the garage door after they opened it. The garage door I've repeatedly told her not to open because the cat likes to run out and then hide under cars because she doesn't want to go back in.

I text my sister to let her know how to close the garage door. I figure after that everything is taken care of and I don't have to worry about anything. Besides I'm stuck at work and can't leave. I didn't even have a lunch because I had people in and out of the office all day. I was showing apartments and doing paperwork all day.

I get home from work, and no one mentions anything, so I figure everything is fine. The garage door is close, the dogs are in the house. Things seem fine. Its not until two hours later that mom happens to mention that she hasn't seen the cat.

So now I'm freaking out that the cat is outside somewhere, or dead hit by a car or whatever. I go out looking in the garage for her, and in the yard and the next door neighbor's yard. Nothing. I figure she must have run away, and the baby monster is all upset that her birthday kitty is gone.

So by now I'm completely angry at my mom, and it all escalates to where she's yelling at me and I'm yelling at her, and she's throwing crap and getting in my face.

Because I don't care about anything, I don't care about the animals, I don't take of them, I don't take care of my daughter, I'm not raising her right, she (my mom) always gives the animals a bath every week, and buys them snacks, and I don't. Because I don't do anything around the house except sit around on my ass on the compute.

My mom and I have never had a good relationship before. Never. Not for as long as I can remember. She's always been ready to believe the worst about me (and this goes back to when I was a teen and she got angry at me when her "friend" who has proven time and again her depression effects most things in her life, decided to lie about me and my mom believe her friend over me), always found fault with most things that I've done in my life (everything from the jobs I have, to the way I raise my daughter to the way I live my life and how I had a daughter out of wedlock) and never seems to be happy about anything in her life. Definitely some deep seated resentment there on my part, I know. We get on each other's nerves to say things nicely.

I've never been violent with my mother, but something about today and the way she treats me and the stuff she says about me, and just things in general, I pushed her to get her away from me and out of my face.

After that there was more yelling and accusing on both sides.

I don't really feel that she appreciates any of the contribution that I make to the house. I don't feel that she acknowledges that I pay for bills around the house. I feel she just constantly goes on about how she has to pay the mortgage on the house. When I try to explain that dad (who doesn't even live in the house currently) and I pay for all the other bills like cable, cell phone, electricity and water, sewage, and garbage, pest control and yard, its like she doesn't even realize those are bills need to be paid. All she knows is that she's paying for her bills, and taking care of her stuff, and paying the mortgage, and that's it.

I just really feel that its definitely time to get a better paying job, get my own place and just completely forget about her and her problems. I don't even feel like helping her out for anything anymore.

I need to get out of this house and away from her.

First step is to start applying to more jobs, even if that means making things tense around the law office after everything that happend the the last few weeks after B left the office the way she did.

Date: 2013-07-07 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharona1x2.livejournal.com
That sounds like such a terrible situation. It can't be healthy for your daughter to see and hear you two fighting. I hope you're able to get out of there, soon. I also hope the poor little cat comes back.

Date: 2013-07-07 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmariep2.livejournal.com
Yeah, it was pretty awful. It just cemented my idea to really start taking steps to get out of the house. It was fine with dad living in the house as a buffer between us, but now that he's not living there any more, its just us.

The cat did turn up later, so that's good.

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