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[personal profile] mmariep2
Co-worker S. told me the boss was appreciative that I had told him in advance that I had started looking for a job and was applying places. She also reminded me that should I get a job before December, I will miss the office Christmas party (which I have come to enjoy), as well as my end of the year bonus. OMG. I know I will miss that. I has increased incrementally every year.

The job search is going slowly. I've found some promising posts, and have applied. There are a few with the city Board of Education in the admin field which require either introductory letters, or letters of recommendation/reference. x.x I had having to ask for those. Its almost as awkward as asking to list someone as a reference to begin with.

Lol, anyone want to write a letter for me? You've all known me for 10 years now. ;) I need at least three for a few of the positions I want to apply for with the board of education.

My day care provider is on a two week vacation (started Monday), and so sister has taken the baby monster up north to stay with her at uncle and aunt's house for the next two weeks. We skype every night. Of course I miss her. The house is just too empty without her here. She wants to come home, but she seems to do fine during the day and is having lots of fun. I've told her that I found sitters for her and that they're teens, she seems fine with that. She asked by Grandmom wasn't going to watch her anymore, I couldn't tell her the truth, the best I could do was shrug and say, "just because".

When she gets back, I have managed to find a couple of teen girls willing to babysit her every weekend while I'm at work. It will cost me of course, but at this point I'm willing to pay for it rather than depend on my mom and have her throw that in my face yet again.

We still aren't speaking by the way. That seems to be the M.O. for us. We get in a fight, and then we don't speak for days or weeks. It can go on indefinitely. Any of our problems are never discussed, worked out or through or any kind of understanding is never came to. I think its this and watching my parents go through the same type of fighting and never working things out that has influenced my same reaction to her. Make sense? Its past midnight as I'm typing this wondering if my rambling is making sense. We don't work things out. Its glossed over or forgotten, never mentioned and ignored, and then we all happily pretend it never happened.

I'm vaguely worried that this type of avoidance, even though I'm aware of the problem, will somehow effect any future relationships I might have. Which by the way, even after almost 8 years of being single, I'm still happily so. Not even any sort of temporary relationship anywhere in between that time and now. You guys were all there when I broke things off with the ex. The insecurities I had about trying to stay with him and fix things, and then eventually just ending it and moving out the city and back home (medical issues aside).

I'm quite enjoying being single and just taking care of myself and the baby monster.
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